"Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him." (Acts 8:2)
In traditional Judaism, when an observant Jew dies, the first call made is often to a representative of the Chevra Kadisha(Aramaic) literally "holy society"; an organization that provides for preparation and burial of the deceased in accordance with traditional Jewish customs. (Holy Society.) That is a volunteer group who will coordinate the preparation of the body for burial. They will be responsible for keeping vigil with the body, for washing and dressing the body in traditional garments, and for assisting the mourners with the funeral preparations, coordinating the post-burial meal, and assisting the family during the intense first week of mourning which follows the burial.
"Now in Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha (which translated in Greek is called Dorcas); this woman was abounding with deeds of kindness and charity which she continually did. And it happened at that time that she fell sick and died; and when they had washed her body, they laid it in an upper room." (Acts 9:36-37)
How did the women prepare Tabitha after death? They washed her. Short of immediate resurrection (which is what Tabitha experienced thanks to faith and prayers from Peter), the way Judaism handles death is to wash the body (taharah(Hebrew) purification; a cleansing ritual that involves ritual washing of the deceased prior to burial.; a ritual which acts as the final mikvah(Hebrew) A ritual bath or immersion pool. for the deceased), dress the body in simple white garments (tachrichim(Hebrew) burial garments, usually made of plain white linen, often made of linen, like that in which our Master was buried), and guard the body until burial. Watchmen, shomerim(Hebrew) watcher, guard; one who is present at all times with one who is deceased until the body is buried., sit with the deceased, often reading or singing the Psalms, for the time that passes until the burial.
In our faith, we believe in the resurrection of the dead. Therefore, we should endeavor to treat our dead accordingly. We should not regard the body as "simply a shell" to be discarded, nor should we treat our dead with the indignity of mummification and embalming as if, by our own efforts, we can stave off the corruption of the body. Instead, we accept death, and deal with it accordingly. In our faith, immersion (baptism) is symbolic of death and resurrection. Our initial immersion into Messiah is, according to the Apostle Paul in Romans 6, and immersion into his death and resurrection. Traditional Judaism and even the community of the Apostles expressed their faith in the future resurrection by an immersion for the dead. Therefore, we desire to accord our dead the honor of a final immersion, a ritual washing, that declares our faith that this person will rise again. The human corpse is a person, a human being. Though the person's soul has departed, his or her body remains, nonetheless, the same body that his or her soul will return to in the future. The ritual washing at death is not a sacrament. Like immersion itself, it is an outward expression of an inward conviction. It is this understanding which has brought us to the formation of a community Chevra Kadisha to perform taharah for our members before their burial.
Jewish burial ideally takes place within 24 hours. However, in today's complicated world, often the medical examiner's work and the need for relatives to travel from large distances can extend this to a period of 2-3 days. In most states, ours included, the body must be in the ground by 72 hours after death to avoid the need to embalm. According to Scripture, the life (nefesh(Hebrew) soul, life-force, person) of a body is in the blood, but embalming removes the blood from a body and disposes of it and pumps the body full of preservatives. Unlike current Christian custom, there is no tradition of buying and displaying large floral offerings or displaying an embalmed and cosmetically-altered body in an expensive and ornate casket. Immediate burial and donations to a meaningful charity to honor the deceased are more usual.
The funeral, which can take place at the funeral home, a chapel at a synagogue, or grave side just before burial, begins with keri'ah(Hebrew) literally, "tearing"; a symbolic tearing of garments as an expression of mourning, a symbolic tearing/cutting of the mourners' garments (or a black ribbon) left side for death of parents, right side for spouse, siblings, children. The simple funeral is composed of traditional liturgy and a eulogy of the deceased. The funeral is followed by immediate burial with family and mourners actually shoveling the earth into the grave. This fulfills the mitzvah(Hebrew) a commandment; a good deed of burying the dead. For most this act also has the psychological benefit of closure, however, some people do not find this custom helpful and they return to cars before shoveling begins. After burial the initial week of mourning, known as shiva(Hebrew) literally, "seven"; a traditional seven-day period of mourning after the death of a close relative from the Hebrew for seven, begins.
Shiva begins with a meal of consolation. Provided by the chevra and community volunteers, a meal is served for the mourners and friends at the location of shiva, usually the family home. Mourners remain there for the shiva period; some may sleep at own homes, but return for daytime. The mourners refrain from work for seven days, they avoid errand running, avoid feast-like meals, and some avoid meat altogether. A Seven day candle is lit. Additional restrictions are similar to those of Yom Kippur(Hebrew) Day of Atonement; the holiest day in the biblical calendar, which is observed by fasting and prayer: no leather shoes, no haircuts or extensive time spent in grooming/showering, no marital relations, and no TV for the week. Mourners sit on stools. All mirrors are covered to reduce vanity. The task of shiva is to mourn fully. Members of the wider community are expected to pay "shiva calls" performing the mitzvah of comforting the mourners. Receiving shiva visitors helps to relieve the feelings of isolation. Throughout the week, it is important to remember that the mourners are not to act as hosts when people come to visit the mourning house during shiva; instead people are to come and sit with the mourners. It is not necessary for guests to cheer up the mourners with stories or platitudes, simply to join the mourners and speak when spoken to, letting the mourners set the tone and mood of the gathering. It is common practice to bring food or fruit baskets. The traditional words of comfort are "May God comfort you along with the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." The chevra also coordinates the effort to have a minyan(Hebrew) a quorum needed in order to form an official congregation for the purpose of prayer. In traditional Judaism, this is defined as ten Jewish adult males. meet at the family home for daily prayers as requested by the family (traditionally for morning and/or evening prayers) to allow the family to pray the Kaddish(Aramaic) literally, "Holy One"; a prayer that acknowledges the sovereignty of God, functioning in Jewish prayer as a transition between sections in the prayer service. One form of the Kaddish is offered specifically by people who are mourning the recent loss of a close relative.. Shabbat [(Hebrew) Sabbath; the seventh day of the week, which God blessed and set apart for rest and holiness.] or other biblical holidays suspend shiva practices and the family may join the community for services, but are not expected to partake in festive events. After the shiva week ends, the restrictions are lessened during the rest of the month of mourning (for spouses, siblings, children) and/or a year of mourning (for parents.) There are additional traditions for marking each anniversary of a death (yahrzeit(Yiddish) the anniversary of one's death).
At Beth Immanuel we formed a community Chevra Kadisha in 2005. We want to give our community members dignity and comfort in death. We will be doing this for people whom we know. This is an act of loving-kindness. The final act of love. A high mitzvah—one done without thought to gaining appreciation.
